This Day Sucks

Workout today:
@ 8 am
1 hour
Alternate bet. 5 and 6 mph every 5 minutes

Feeling before running: Neutral?
Feeling after: Neutral pa rin. I didn't feel great or anything of that sort.

Had I not run today, I would not have...felt any different.

***

I feel bad today because when I tried my pants this morning, they barely fit! Having no other option, I just wore shorts.

That's where depression and lack of exercise and lots of eating took me. I feel bad because I worked hard to lose those ten pounds through running (and not dieting!); and now I gained them all over again. It just feels so bad. I just feel so so so bad.

I hope everything works out fine. I hope my hard work will be enough to make amends for my mistakes; and I hope I'd learn from this experience.

I just realized I've got a shallow sense of self-confidence... It seems every bit of confidence is based on how I "feel" in my body. Self-confidence on my part is not equated with achievement, of altruism or any of that sort; it is equated with my body image.

Run and Fight Depression

Workout today:
@ 10 am
1 hour
Alternate bet. 5 and 6 mph every 5 minutes

Feeling before running: tired. Wanted to sleep all day dahil pagod kahapon.
Feeling after: Ganadong gumawa ng assignments! Hah!

Had I not run today, I would not have...finished my paper today.

I Love Running But I Lack Motivation

Hi. Plaridel is my pseudo name, and I love running. I've been running for the past four months, and I really enjoyed it. Not only because I lost weight (I lost 10 pounds in the process while eating A LOT); the thing is, I felt better... Far, far better than before.

Then, I got burned out: I could hardly drag myself to run, and I saw myself making excuses so as to avoid running altogether.

That went on for a month. Thereafter, I saw my weight creep yet again (I've gained 8 pounds to date), I've had unexplainable headaches, feelings of malaise; and worst, I got depressed.

You see I'm the type of person who can fall rather easily to depression: I'm a perfectionist, to a level that I think is greater than no other.

But surprisingly, during those four months that I never missed a single workout on this plan I've downloaded from the net (later I shall show it here), I've been a person very unlike my old self. I studied hard, but I made sure I enjoyed doing it. I barely had bouts of bad mood. I always felt great. Just great.

I miss those days, but, I just lack the motivation to go on. I run alone, for I could not motivate my close friends to run. As much as I want to join sports clinics, I couldn't because of my late classes. No matter how hard I push myself, I just didn't have that same motivation as I had before.

***

Today's the last day of our classes for this semester, and just yesterday, I really pushed myself to run on our treadmill. I just felt so bad, so stressed out, that my body actually pushed me out of my comfort zone. I surprised myself by running for an hour, and I couldn't explain the feeling I got from it: it was complete bliss like no other, incomparable with eating my favorite foods, incomparable with reading my favorite books.

I felt so glad I was able to do it yesterday, but the lasting feeling isn't there yet. Like today, I didn't feel like running again. But that I believe I can apologize. After being unable to run for a month, I think it's but proper that I do it gradually. I have to go and run, to remind myself that I'm yet again introducing the "Best Medicine in the World" in my system.

***

I want to apologize for the "emo-ness" of this entry, but, I think this is one of the many effective ways to motivate myself to run again.

In this blog I shall record:

• My day-to-day workouts (time, duration, kind)
  
• My feeling before and after the workout
• The completion to this one-liner: "Had I not run today, I wouldn't have..."
  

***

So this is it. No turning back. I shall do this this time! :)